Monthly Archives: May 2016

“Q” is for Quiet your Mind

 

“Q” is for Quiet your Mind. How often do you do that for yourself?

This is a good one for me this week. I know its good advice, but to that, I say; what happens when you don’t have the time to quiet your mind? Like me. Like this week.

 

Something really important to know is that if you don’t slow yourself down, the Universe, God or your body will. You might catch a cold or the flu and you’ll finally have to lay down, or in my case you could break your cellphone.

 

I had a horacious day the other day, and I just now discovered that is not a word, but it makes the right sound and noise to describe my day. It wasn’t an end of the world kind of day but it was a long-hard-busy-no-end-in-sight kind of day that lived up to its title.

I’ll make a long story a little less long by talking about the things that matter to the story.

Mid-day, I met my ex-sis-in-law and superhero friend for a late lunch because her son was at basketball and my daughter was at dance and we were both in limbo. (Hmmmm…Limbo-Bimbo’s.) During our meal, I went to dig out my phone from my purse, but I couldn’t find it. It was so deep in that she had to call it and the vibration gave me that sense of relief that I needed. You know that feeling when you think you’ve lost your phone, or realize that you’ve left it behind at home? It’s earth-shattering.

I relayed to her in my relief that I felt my phone was more important than my wallet anymore. Everything in my wallet was replaceable, but the phone and its contents were irreplaceable. We laughed but we knew it was true.

Six more stops and three and a half hours later, I was finally putting my key in my front door. More relief came over me. It was after 9:30 p.m., and my daughter was home with homework finished, shower done, and ready to get some sleep. I couldn’t wait to get on the other side of my front door after my day. As my key turned, my phone dropped. I didn’t think anything of it because I drop it all of the time, but I’d forgotten that in order to charge my phone in the car, I had removed the cover. As I picked up my cherished possession, the cracks in the glass might as well have been a deadly spider bite. I was sick instantly.

9:35 p.m. + a friend in the hospital + a really long day + hungry + tired + a few more chores at home + a cracked phone = the straw that broke the camel’s back. Just ask my daughter. I actually cried, probably not entirely over my phone, but because of the weight of the day behind the broken phone. She was stunned. I never cry and I never allow her to see my broken camel back, but truth is better than fiction sometimes.

By morning, I felt better. My sleep had dusted away the dirt of the previous day and I was more clear-headed. We talked again about my phone in the morning, most likely because I had looked at it five times before breakfast as a habit, and even though I would see the cracked glass each time, I really was feeling better about it. I told her what I’d said to my ex-sis about how important my phone was. I’m open to signs. I told my daughter God was reminding me that my phone was NOT important…and He felt the need to drill that fact into my silly little head.

Sooooo….long story, long… :] …quieting our mind is important, to corral us through those days when we are in over our head. You already know how to get your quiet time in. You don’t need a how-to or any new suggestions because you already know what works for you.

You just need to know that you need to do it.
 
 

 

There isn’t always time, so on the days or weeks that you can’t fit your needed time in, plan ahead for it so that it’s on your horizon. Give yourself something to look forward to during those crazy days or weeks. I have a four day weekend on the horizon. I’ll be busy and I’ll be resting both, but I know that I can decompress all of the overload over the course of my cherished long weekend. And I will. It’s Thursday night and I’ve just finished a plate of gouda cheese with Cheez-it crackers (the only cracker in the house) with a glass of wine and next to me is my cracked phone that all weekend will be making me think of God. Amen to that.

 Now, Be Quiet.

And…just in case you DO need a guide on how to quiet your mind, I’ve created a Freebie AND I spent part of my cherished, badly needed weekend creating it for you, so be my guest.  These are ten ways to quiet your mind that don’t take a lot of time and can be done throughout the day.

 
 
Make Better Choices Today 2016 ~               xo Katherine

 

Katherine is doing an ABC Blog Series for #BetterChoices2016 in order to make 2016 your best year yet. Follow her blog at www.backtobeingawoman.com or get the blogs as soon as they are sent out by signing up for her newsletters.

Find previous ABC Blogs here.

"A" is for accepting your present existence
"B" is for be you
"C" is for create
"D" is for do
"E" is for eating and exercising
"F" is for free to choose
"G" is for grit
"H" is for higher
"I" is for intelligence preservation
"J" is for just dance
"K" is for kick crap to the curb
"L" is for look for the lesson
"M" is for Making Memories Last
"A" - "M" to Better Choices
"N" is for Nurture
"O" is for optimum
"P" is for moms are pack leader

Get my Newsletter here to keep up with my news and weekly blogs. Share this with friends that could do 2016 with us.

Follow me on Facebook  and  Twitter
Books by Katherine A. Rayne on Amazon.com.
Lost in Thoughts Adult Coloring Book An Adult Coloring Book that interviews you with each illustration.
Back to Being a Woman (Without Changing the Man) Turn relationships into elationships.
#Living Simply #Living Elegantly Your Life Journal Get your head and home in sync.
There's a Light at the End of the Tunnel. You A compilation of my blogs that all women can relate to.
Visit my website at www.backtobeingawoman.com

 

“P” is for Moms are Pack Leaders

"P" is for Moms are PACK Leaders

 If you are a mom, you are the leader of your pack.

Once we become a mom, we instantly (and instinctively) become a light to someone’s path. We become the leader of our Pack. Our decisions from that moment on are no longer about our previous existence. They are about our future and our Littles future. It becomes about survival and safety and nurturing and motherhood and strength and we suddenly realize that all of those responsibilities lie in our own hands.

From day one we start showering them with love. We hear and answer their cries, even crying with them at times. I once cut my newborns thumb instead of his thumb nail and we both wailed together until his dad came home. A month ago, I had to crank my daughter’s jaw expander for the first time while she laid there mouth wide-open knowing how much it was going to hurt. They hurt = we hurt. Our love is endless and unconditional, meaning that we never want them to hurt. As they walk with us, we want to show them not only how to survive, but how to thrive.

They have our love and our respect. We let them know that we are there when they need us. We allow them to make their own choices, like picking out their own juice box flavor at the grocery store or by asking them to pick out a head of cauliflower. We let them know that their thoughts count, their decisions are smart, their school work is worthy and their talents are impressive. We show them again and again that they matter, they matter, they matter.

We teach them to respect us. We are the leader of the pack. Think ducklings, wolf pups and cats. We are momma’s that put our Littles in place when they literally get out of line. We do it to teach them. We do it for their safety. So that weeks and months and years into the future, they will still be safe and still be making wise choices. Our Littles need a strong leader who won’t falter when they do.

Many of us don’t spank our kids, but mommahood still requires a firm hand. When we put them in a time out, we aren’t protecting them from their bad decision today, we are protecting them from their bad decisions in 8, 10, and 12 years, and when they make the big mistakes, when they hurt our feelings, when they do wrong, we become more unearthed with a stronger desire to help them through it, to help them fix it and to help them right it. We want to tell them that’s not who they are, that they’re better than that, and we point them back in the right direction. Our love adheres to their little souls like glue.

My son had a little friend years ago when he was about four. His friend was into everything, while my son knew his friends' choices weren’t the same as his own. He’d watch his little friend get into trouble again and again. He’d watch the mom’s response to see what she would do. The mom would make lots of noise but no action followed, so the boy would always go past the boundaries. After weeks of playdates, my son decided that his friend was having more fun than he was so he started to act out with him. At the playground one day, the little boy ran up to the exit gate, smiling and watching his mom’s reaction as he opened it to go out. She yelled out at him, but he went anyway. It took one quick backward glance and my son was right behind him. In a matter of moments, I was at the gate gathering them back into the playground. With one event, my son found it wouldn’t work with me and his walk on the dark side ended. He didn’t get a bite from me, but he got a “no, you’re not allowed.”

There are lots of places for “soft” when you’re a mom; cuddles, laughter, tickles, snuggles, bedtime and fun. But we can’t go soft when it comes to discipline. When we ask something of our Littles, whether it be to get back in line, or to put something down or to listen better, and they don’t, we can’t go soft. If we go soft, they watch it happen. They notice that we let it go. So they decide in that moment that what we had asked of them must not have been that important. Each time after that when we bark at them to get back in line, they know that it’s not that important, and not because they disrespect us, but because we taught them that it wasn’t that important. They learn from us.

Moms are brave, strong, powerful, nurturing, loving and at times intense pack leaders, and it all comes from one place; love, unearthed by our vision of their future and the path that they will follow.

Survive, Littles, so that we can love you long and hard and one day stand back and watch you when you unearth your own love. Our job as pack leaders is hard but the love we carry in our hearts because of you, and the emotions that we feel when we watch your smile form at the corners of your mouth is proof that love is eternal and it’s our driving force. We walk in front of you because we light up the path. We force you to walk in the light over and over again so that you don’t ever have to walk in the dark.

So let us be your pack leader. We won’t do you wrong. We protect you from it. When we put you to sleep each night, whether you are 17 months or 17 years, we come back when you are sleeping. We stare at your innocence and drop our tears as we stare and count our blessings in your freckles and eyelashes. And then we turn away and close the door because we know in this darkness you are safe.

Make Better Choices Today 2016 ~               xo Katherine

Katherine is doing an ABC Blog Series for #BetterChoices2016 in order to make 2016 your best year yet. Follow her blog at www.backtobeingawoman.com or get the blogs as soon as they are sent out by signing up for her newsletters.

Find previous ABC Blogs here.

"A" is for accepting your present existence
"B" is for be you
"C" is for create
"D" is for do
"E" is for eating and exercising
"F" is for free to choose
"G" is for grit
"H" is for higher
"I" is for intelligence preservation
"J" is for just dance
"K" is for kick crap to the curb
"L" is for look for the lesson
"M" is for Making Memories Last
"A" - "M" to Better Choices
"N" is for Nurture
"O" is for Optimum

Get my Newsletter here to keep up with my news and weekly blogs. Share this with friends that could do 2016 with us.

Follow me on Facebook  and  Twitter
Books by Katherine A. Rayne on Amazon.com.
Lost in Thoughts Adult Coloring Book An Adult Coloring Book that interviews you with each illustration.
Back to Being a Woman (Without Changing the Man) Turn relationships into elationships.
#Living Simply #Living Elegantly Your Life Journal Get your head and home in sync.
There's a Light at the End of the Tunnel. You A compilation of my blogs that all women can relate to.
Visit my website at www.backtobeingawoman.com

“O” is for Optimum

"O" is for Optimum

 Optimum – adj. - most conducive to a favorable outcome; best.

How much do you do in your life that you can label as “optimum?” I’ve been thinking about it for a while and my answer would be nothing. When I eat, it’s not optimum to my health every single time. When I exercise, I could do much better. When I clean? Lol.

I feel like if I were to try to aim for optimum-everything, it would mentally and physically drain me, although if I were to be eating an optimum diet, I’d probably have superhuman energy. (Is optimum starting to sound a bit strange to you, too?).

I’m thinking the trick is to take aim in bite size pieces. I’ve been taking better care of my liver lately. I’ve been drinking and eating more bitter foods and liquids first thing in the morning and the last thing at night to rinse my liver of its toxic buildup. So if I stay on that course for a while, I’ll get closer to optimum liver health (if I stop eating CiCi’s Pizza cinnamon rolls).

I can eventually improve the care of my heart by increasing my cardio and eating a heart-healthier diet. I will continue to do that and then I’ll be ready to take on optimum brain care. I’m thinking I’ll just replace bread with avocado and replace chocolate with walnuts, or maybe keep the chocolate and lose the pasta. As much as I’d LOVE a clean diet, I don’t know how close I could get to it, but if I aim for optimum, and come up with very satisfactory, I’m still winning.

I was browsing Pinterest the other night again and came across a cool saying:

“In order to make the changes you want, you either need to start doing something, or stop doing something.”   unknown

That one sentence simplifies how to make changes, doesn't it? To rid yourself of that “bothersome habit” or to begin that “ideal project,” you can begin by either stopping it or starting it, and see where it takes you.

What is it that you’d love to change right now? What’s the first step that you can take to get there? How far can you push yourself to do the steps that it takes to get to “optimum?” Going as far as you can will make big changes in the long run.

Optimum – n. the most favorable conditions or level for growth, reproduction, or success. 

Do-able.

Make Better Choices Today 2016 ~               xo KatherineKatherine is doing an ABC Blog Series for #BetterChoices2016 in order to make 2016 your best year yet. Follow her blog at www.backtobeingawoman.com or get the blogs as soon as they are sent out by signing up for her newsletters.

Find previous ABC Blogs here.

"A" is for accepting your present existence
"B" is for be you
"C" is for create
"D" is for do
"E" is for eating and exercising
"F" is for free to choose
"G" is for grit
"H" is for higher
"I" is for intelligence preservation
"J" is for just dance
"K" is for kick crap to the curb
"L" is for look for the lesson
"M" is for Making Memories Last
"A" - "M" to Better Choices
"N" is for Nurture

Get my Newsletter here to keep up with my news and weekly blogs. Share this with friends that could do 2016 with us.

Follow me on Facebook  and  Twitter
Books by Katherine A. Rayne on Amazon.com.
Lost in Thoughts Adult Coloring Book An Adult Coloring Book that interviews you with each illustration.
Back to Being a Woman (Without Changing the Man) Turn relationships into elationships.
#Living Simply #Living Elegantly Your Life Journal Get your head and home in sync.
There's a Light at the End of the Tunnel. You A compilation of my blogs that all women can relate to.
Visit my website at www.backtobeingawoman.com

“N” is for Nurture – simple and sweet

"N" is for Nurture

I remember as a kid walking into a room where my mom was and telling her that I was bored. Her normal response was that she could find something for me to do. Read: UNfun. Chores. Boring. It seemed to work…I’d go find something else to do to become unbored with.

I always had The Jungle Book record on my record player in my bedroom that got me out of a lot of bored moments when my three sisters were in three different places somewhere else. I’d put on my record and see how much cleaning I could do in my bedroom before the record ended. After my room was clean, (to my standards) I’d see how many somersaults I could do during the song. Surely I’d lay down on my bed after that and then my imagination would take over from there.

It was a really great tactic so I of course used the same one when my kids began coming to me out of boredom, but eventually I began to see a pattern and realized that when they came to me out of boredom, they weren’t really looking for something more to do. They were looking for a moment of nurturing. Or a few minutes. Or an hour. So I decided to start giving it to them right then and there.

As a preschool teacher, the age I teach needs lots of nurturing moments. They don’t have to last long…they don’t even have to be a huge sympathetic deposit of love. They just need to include some eye contact, a listening ear and a warm hug. The result is instant and they are renewed and happy to go off and play once again.

In this day of phones, I often catch myself with my head in my phone when my daughter’s having an “I need you” moment and I’m like, hold on…almost finished answering this (unimportant-can-wait-until-later) text. I look up and she’s moved passed the needy moment but I feel I’ve missed that important moment of connection that you get to have less and less as they get older and older.

You can’t do these moments at your convenience. Kids move on easily and lose interest in your advice or kind words quickly when they are 12, 13 and more. You have to be in the moment with them when it comes around. Phones kinda’ suck the life-moments out of us, but also out of our kids.

What color eyes does my mom have? I don’t know…she’s always looking down in her phone. Maybe if I call her I can ask her.

When someone says “he just wants attention,” about a child, they are right. So we should give it to him. His way of acting out or acting up is saying, “help me….I can’t settle myself on my own right now.”

Kids don’t know our stresses, nor should they, but they still have their own that will stress them out in the same way. We are their stress-reducers. Teaching them that a calm adult is always close by will give them more reasons to be calm when they aren’t close.

So what do we need in order to nurture ourselves? Slow down. Quiet the noise. Go where there’s no distractions (we all need a break even from our kids sometimes). Every time I get myself to the beach, no matter how often I go, I ask myself while I’m there why I don’t go more often. It is always so calming and rejuvenating. Making sure that we have that place to go, wherever it is, is a priority. It’s an escape. You know how men have “mancaves?” My sister recently came up with a "womancave" of her own, the first I'd ever heard of. Make sure you have a “womancave” somewhere, and use it often.

Reading over this post, it's kind of gloomy. I think it’s because I had one of those moments yesterday with my daughter at breakfast, and I can’t take it back. Hopefully writing about it will bring me out of my phone-fog quicker the next time it happens. 🙂

So how are you going to nurture yourself starting today, during today? What's going to make you feel good? Do that. I'm going to go take my shower finally, and then spend the afternoon with my girlie. <3

Make Better Choices Today 2016 ~               xo Katherine

Katherine is doing an ABC Blog Series for #BetterChoices2016 in order to make 2016 your best year yet. Follow her blog at www.backtobeingawoman.com or get the blogs as soon as they are sent out by signing up for her newsletters.

Find previous ABC Blogs here.

"A" is for accepting your present existence
"B" is for be you
"C" is for create
"D" is for do
"E" is for eating and exercising
"F" is for free to choose
"G" is for grit
"H" is for higher
"I" is for intelligence preservation
"J" is for just dance
"K" is for kick crap to the curb
"L" is for look for the lesson
"M" is for making memories last
Read the highlights of Blogs "A" thru "M"

Get my Newsletter here to keep up with my news and weekly blogs. Share this with friends that could do 2016 with us.

Follow me on Facebook  and  Twitter
Books by Katherine A. Rayne on Amazon.com.
Lost in Thoughts Adult Coloring Book An Adult Coloring Book that interviews you with each illustration.
Back to Being a Woman (Without Changing the Man) Turn relationships into elationships.
#Living Simply #Living Elegantly Your Life Journal Get your head and home in sync.
There's a Light at the End of the Tunnel. You A compilation of my blogs that all women can relate to.
Visit my website at www.backtobeingawoman.com