open your mind

“B” is for Be Yourself

"B" is for Be Yourself

(My ABC Blog series is about letting go of resolutions and replacing them with the simple vow of making better choices in order to be yourself. Resolutions stress me out...they feel like a huge wall that I have to scale and then I don’t like experiencing the failures that follow, so instead of staring down my big goals, I’m simply going to make better choices everyday. This is the second blog in the series. My letter “A” was last week. If you are just joining, go back and read Letter “A.” It’s an important one; A is for accepting your present existence. "B" is for Be Yourself #BetterChoices2016)

I'm making Letter “B” about becoming your truer self this year. One of my favorite quotes is, "think about who you want to be, and be her." If you're happy with the way your world is working and you have no interest in changing anything, you are already in a good place to be yourself, (and I'm jealous) but even so, there's always that something that could be better or different or improved. For instance, my gym closed. I've been doing small doses of exercise and walking since then, but I haven't replaced those 35-40 minute regular workouts. Being I'm way out of shape by now, a resolution to get back in the same shape for 2016 is a long way off. Overwhelm. Feeble efforts. That goal stares me down from afar. So I'm vowing to make better choices each day. I decide how much I want to move my butt into shape each day knowing that the more I do, the better.

Worrying about things (like weight loss, others opinions, exercise, problems) limit our truest self. The worries that we create might have some credibility or they might not, but either way they are fiction made out of our imagination. Most of our worries won't happen, but while we're waiting for them to happen, they become sludge that holds us back. There are intricate thoughts and great ideas that we should be having instead of worry. When we stop worrying, we stop limiting ourselves.

Go boldly in the direction of your dreams. Going feebly won't cut it. That means leaving behind worry and fear.


"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler."  -Henry David Thoreau

If I wake up every day thinking like that, I don't have to think about a goal that's months down the road. I only have to think about what I need to do today. What are good choices that I can make today to go confidently towards my goals/dreams/ideas/desires? Doing them will literally make them happen. So whatever your fears are, go on in and wade in them knee deep until you are comfortable there. Then go deeper until you are up to your armpits in what you are afraid to do, or what you are holding back from doing. Before you know it, you're comfortable there and you're ready to go all in.

Go ahead and choose to make mistakes so that you can learn from them, and don't worry about the outcome. Bad things could happen, but good things could happen, too.

Choose to allow Intricate thoughts and feelings to rise out of your sub-consciousness instead of allowing the worry to.

Choose to weed out worry. It can grow out of proportion to the beautiful, delicate flowers that are waiting to bloom.

Maybe you’re not comfortable being you, and “be yourself” sounds too cliche. In order to un-cliché the saying, we should probably stop thinking that it’s okay to ignore our health or to keep exercise as a low priority. Making better choices one day at a time means that we choose who it is that we want to be, and can easily make the choices that will allow us to become her.

Answer these questions:

  1. What skin would you be more comfortable in to be yourself?
  2. What would enable you to be a more confident person?
  3. What would you be like?

Physically stronger? Leaner? Healthier? Less obnoxious? More caring? Would you socialize more? Change jobs? Start a hobby? Ask yourself what holds you back from being your ideal you. What changes do you want to make to be yourself for 2016?

Simply asked, what would make you happy right at this very moment?

“Be Yourself” no longer means that it’s okay to settle for being less than who you can be.

Making better choices each day aims you in that direction. In my Letter "A" blog I talk about tending to your life as if it's a garden that needs fertilizer and sunlight. Meet yourself in your garden at the end of each day and ask yourself how much you grew that day. How much sunlight did you reach for? How much did you let in? Flowers and leaves always direct and redirect themselves towards the sun while the sun crosses the sky. When it’s time to make a choice during each day, remember to choose the one that takes you into the light towards who you want to be.

What choices today will help you feel better, act better, relate better and sleep better tonight? Remember that no matter who you are or who you become, you're human. You get second chances. If you make a bad choice like pizza instead of salad or two Snickers Ice-cream bars instead of one (I really love those), it’s okay. You get to begin again tomorrow. So enjoy the pizza, eat every single bite, and thank your lucky stars that it was invented, because life is made to enjoy along the way.

You've planted a garden and you get to choose what fertilizer you use. What will help you grow into beauty? You will, one decision at a time.

Next week I'm blogging about "C" is for Creating. See you in the garden. Bring sunscreen!

If you haven’t printed out the free printable and very simple 2016Goal Worksheet yet, it’s here: 2016 Goal Worksheet It gives you simple direction to start your year off so that you know what to aim for.

Katherine A. Rayne is an author, preschool teacher and a mom to two perfections. Find her books on She also freelances and founded the community Back to Being a Woman to support busy women and moms. Find her at and

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